An Open Letter to Me

Fuck the world, and it’s need of being organized, cultured, civilized and practical. You are an universal being. You are a part of a larger civilizations. Human civilization is a part of it. You are here to improve it, not to fight and whine about it.

Find yourself, life is not a journey about finding new things. Finding new things can be a hobby, by making it the meaning of life, you are making the life arduous and exhausting journey. Nothing changes under the sun, the food chain remains the same at the end of the day: more powerful feeds on less powerful. Your mission is to improve the system by being a stronger part of it. Stay in your place in the food-chain, improve yourself without jumping up. Humans are driven by examples. You are to set a good example to drive them towards better future.

Finding yourself will not be easy, your existence is not wrapped in mindsets, biases, prejudices of the world. Living in this world comes as a cost of infecting out soul. Every action we take as human has some sort of infection/affection to it. There are multiple ways to find yourself.

Meditate daily – this will teach you to talk to yourself without least disturbance with world.

Hurt yourself – This should be a very calculated step. Always taken sub-consciously. We are too busy looking around and moving forward that we forget completely about what our real self is. Regret is the sometimes the best medicine, you realize what you actually are. Your true self is reflected in almost all the decisions. We can see clearer version of ourselves in the wrong decisions we have made. These decisions made by mind and deemed wrong by heart. So our thought-engine had already taken an action that the heart was not completely ready for or aware about the consequences. Make a decision that in which you’d be at your highest degree of wrong and highest degree of brave. You’ll most likely end up being irreversibly damaged. Like abandoning someone in their moment of need. Consequences will sometimes make you rip your heart out to avoid trampling by conscience  every day. This will show you the worst version of yourself, if you can accept even 1% of it, your present self will improve by 1000%.

Be assertive, you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness and pleasures of life. You have your own shit to deal with. You are so busy living upto everyone’s expectation that sometimes you are compromising with yourself.

Fuck everyone and their perspectives of yourself. If you are on a dinner with a girl and want to pay the bill. Don’t think about whether it’ll look less feminist or not. Even if you just want to pay the bill to pamper your male ego, pay it. It’s not important that you wanted to pamper your ego, what is important is that you wanted it. Stop gluing your values on actions. Not all actions are positive and showcases a good thing about you, sometimes you are horrible at something and that’s ok.

Stop continuously thinking about your progress and how you will make the dent in the universe. This thinking only improves your imaginary self, expectations of your imaginary self from your real-self becomes too much. You are disturbed and depressed because of constantly expecting progress from yourself. This will suck you dry of energy before you are dead.

Your journey in this body is for a limited time. Don’t pay much attention to it. Your physique, color and physical flaws are biological and you have no control over them. Stop being a whiny tenant and start adjusting to your home. If someone says or even suggests that you don’t have a nice body, walk upto them and tell them: Fuck You, Bitch. While being tenant of this body, your lease will be extended by your periodic maintenance. Maintenance includes healthy eating, working out and avoiding shit like burgers, cakes etc.

Stop focusing too much about the future. You want to be someone who’d be remembered long after his time. You want to leave behind a legacy that will be appreciated and useful for coming centuries. In short, you want an impact on this world like Julius Ceaser. Take present slowly, one step at a time. Rushing in present is not going to get you to desired future, it’ll only make you take turn in the wrong street. Slow the fuck down. Stop feeling guilty about smoking cigarette while smoking it. First smoke, then regret.

World has innovated a dumb thing called multi-tasking. Its an unrealistic expectations. You need to be immersed in a task while doing it. If you’re distracted by even 1%, that means there’s a pretense in your act. 1% of pretense that you want to look absorbed in this task while you are thinking of something else.

Stop doing multi-tasking. Mind is spinning out multiple thoughts every second, every thought draws your attention, focus on one and settle the others by temp-solution. Temp-solution can be ‘Fuck it’. There are very obvious signs of your pretense. You have a periodic limb moving disorder, this means you keep moving your toe from left to right while talking, thinking, working or doing anything. Your tongue is stuck to your upper jaw, doctors say it’s because of dry mouth. You drink enough water. They are lying, this is probably because you are high strung and anxious most of the time. Let’s not go into why you are anxious, nothing will come out of it, let it go. Just practice being less anxious and keep your tongue on lower jaw.

People will provoke you. You want to have everyone high thoughts about your, you want to be respected. Your expectations are right. When a piece of shit talks to you in a shitty tone, you will want to retaliate. Every inch of you will be on fire to show that son of a bitch to show his place, this is anger, it’s bad for your health. Let it go. Ignorance is the toughest and most efficient reaction to these problems. Let someone be condescending and walk all over you, that’s alright. Just don’t let someone learn from this experience. People often misunderstand your ignorance as your weakness.

Stop preaching. Your knowledge is your asset and will be valued only if you ‘Serve when guest is hungry’. Only preach if someone is ready to absorb the knowledge and make it useful. If you feel like preaching, stop. The other person does not give much shit about it anyways. Speak less, only when needed.

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